It is no surprise that these
two are so closely intertwined.
I have written these sins
in black ink upon linen paper. These
sins marked deep in the grooves of my heart.
And I have burned the vestiges of these wrongs – sending their ash to
the heavens, to the Only One who can make each one right. The One who Restores what has been lost. The One who Redeems what has been
Stolen. The One who conquers the ground
given to the enemy.
These two, forgiveness and
repentance, have to come before worship. It is as Jesus said, “Therefore, if you are offering
your gift at the altar, and there remember that your brother or sister has
something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come
and offer your gift.” [Matthew5:23-24]
And it is worship to which my
soul has longed to return. That for
which I, and you, dear one, have been created:
Worship
of the One, True God.
And I have committed my
heart to worship. Not to singing and
clapping and dancing as though joy were the only emotion I know. But to worship – to be delighted and afraid
of the God who gives birth to stars with merely a breath. To be in awe and wonder of the God who
numbers the days of my life, and those whom I love. To love and revere the God who loves every
person, though this love is rarely returned, and is never perfected while we
toil on this barren rock.
I have purposed my mind to
knowing the God of all Creation. That includes knowing of Him, knowing about
Him, and seeking after Him as earnestly as I can. For Theology is worship, as is music. And Ontology can cause a heart to dance, as wondrously
as a song.
I have set out to follow
after the desire of my heart, no longer the confines of humanity. I will not allow these bent children, though
of Light themselves, to dictate what is and what is not worship. That which draws me to my God, makes Him
known to me, makes me humbled before Him, is what I will declare as my
worship. If my heart is not light, I
will not clap my hands. If my eyes will not
weep, I will shout with joy that His love fills my soul.
I will remember that God
finds us where we stand. He leaves the
99 to seek after the 1. And I, and you,
beloved, am the 1. God meets us wherever
we are. And He loves us however we are –
for while we were still sinners, God sent His Only Son to die for our sins,
that we might be called the children of God. [Romans 5:8]
Join me, children of
God. Join me in worshipping our
God. His is the Name above all
names. He is the King of kings and Lord
of lords. He is the alpha and the omega;
the Author of our lives and the Creator of the universe. And we were created to worship Him.
Wherever you are, however
you choose, worship the God you made you, the God who saves you, the God who, in
spite of you, loves you.
For the Glory of His Kingdom.
Amen.
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