Recognition of Joy: the in-between spaces

Read: Psalm143

In Psalm 143, we once again find David, the man whom God hand-picked as king, crying out to the Lord.  David, amid armies who sought his destruction.  David, who seems never to be far from an audience with the Lord.  Again, David is crying out for God to save him, to rescue him from his enemies, to place his feet on solid ground again.

As I mentioned on Friday, the Officer and I have been on unsteady ground this summer.  Not with one another (thank God), but with external circumstances mounted against us.  So I can understand the “level ground” metaphor in verse 10.  I have felt like our path has been undulating beneath our feet for months now.  Sometimes jerking out from under us, sometimes turning sharply so we are thrown to our knees.  And I can’t count the number of times I’ve said to the Lord, “I’m done.  I want off this ride.  I’m so tired of it.”  Yet, with every bend, every day that we thought would bring an end to this rolling path we’re on, there has been an extension.  A date set further in the distance.  And we have had to wait.  Even more.  Again and again.  Like David, I have begged the Lord to “answer me quickly;” to “not hide [His] face from me” [v7].   Yet the answer remains imminent.  So I am left to wait.  Left to trust; left to entrust the space between my cries and His answer to the Lord [v8].

In this gloaming I, like David, must meditate on God’s works, in both my life and in history [v5].  Doing so allows me to recognize from whom my relief will come.  David repeats the same theme throughout this song:

YOUR faithfulness

YOUR name’s sake

YOUR righteousness

YOUR unfailing love.

David recognizes that the only help he can receive will be because of and directly through the LORD.  There is no other source; no one else who could affect change for David.  Not even the to-be-king himself.  Whatever the outcome, however the end to his current situation presents itself, it will only be because of God’s faithful, righteous, and unfailing love.  And it will only be for the glory of God’s great name.

So in my time of waiting on wave rippled roads, I resolve to waiting.  For joy is the recognition of whence my rescue comes.  And worship can be waiting right where you are, for the answer you know is forthcoming.    

"I Will Wait" by Mumford & Sons





On the Plains

I’m supposed to be studying for finals; but, my new Bible study came in the mail today.  I had to crack it.  See, I’ve had something that needed a dose of the Word.  While I know that all of scripture is God-breathed and meant for healing, rebuking, and teaching, it’s nice to have all of that distilled and applied specifically to what I’m experiencing.  Which is why I sent off for the book; and then couldn’t wait for Saturday to break into it. 

But…

I am finding that I’m consistently disappointed when I open these easy distillations of the word.  Ugh, the entire first 5 weeks are things I already know.   I’m not seeking new revelation; but I even inhabit these topics.  I live them.  Not perfectly, of course; but I have more than just head knowledge.  It goes straight to the heart, too.  So, I closed the book, feeling very discouraged.  And sat, silently asking God what I’m supposed to do. 

I listened as the birds chirped around the neighborhood.  I watched as a butterfly flit onto a dandelion in my grass.  I let my eyes blur and followed the motion of my roses dancing with the gentle breeze, peeking out from behind lilac bushes.  I tried not to notice the weeds that have sprung up and flourished in the weeks leading up to finals.  I had to stop myself from making lists of things that need to be done in the yard and mapping plans of how I’m going to accomplish them.    

I realize that this study was written for others who need the knowledge I have received through other venues.  They haven’t had their chance to apply God’s Word to these topics.  It is something rarely addressed from the pulpit; hardly even broached in women’s groups.  And likely, many good women don’t even confide these issues to their best friends over coffee.  But, I do.  Lots [you can ask her…she pens her ministry here].  And that makes me one of the blessed few, I know; one who has the deepest confidence in one so grounded in the Truth, and who has been surrounded and uplifted by so many godly women [and men] along the way, the kind that speak truth no matter the consequence.  Ones who believe that God’s Word applies to every.second.of.this.life. 

Thus, I’m not begrudging the author, or the publisher, for producing application-friendly truth in easily digestible portions.  But I will admit that I ache for something a little deeper, a little stronger, a little less surface and more core; something that will penetrate directly through to my heart.

For now, I think I’m supposed to inhabit this place.  The one that isn’t comfortable.  The one that has a twinge of ache [oh how I hate to be even slightly uncomfortable].  The one that has weeds and needs tending.  The one that isn’t a quick, easily distilled fix.  And, I’m supposed to get out of my own head for a bit.  Like getting out of my house after a season cooped up in the study.  Letting the breeze blow through my soul and refresh my life.  There is so much beauty out there.  Not for the purpose of avoiding, but patiently waiting.  Daily tending, daily sounding my spirit.  Daily applying the salve of the Word to the deep wounds; drawing out the poison and replacing it with the tonic of truth.   

I think this might be the road for my feet right now.  Not a fast summiting of mountains, with amazing vistas and so-close-you-can-touch-heaven moments, but a season spent on the plains.  Working brittle soil every day.  Pulling the weeds that keep cropping up, from whence I still can’t tell.  Dead-heading blooms to give way to new beauty.  While still living here.  And waiting on the Lord; knowing and being in His Word, talking to Him about it every day.  And finding that sometimes, as a temporal being, only time can offer the remedy for what ails. 

Beauty is where you find it.  God has planted it all around; we just have to look up from ourselves to see it.  And joy can be found in the calm, quiet rush of days strung together right where you are.  Because even dandelions attract butterflies.

     

         

     

Wait

Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.  They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.   I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him."

~Lamentations 3:21-24

Wait.  It’s a word not frequently heard in our society.

Want your tax refund?  Well, give us 20 minutes (and $300) and we’ll write you a check…  Want a house?  Apply now and we’ll approve you immediately…  Want to lose weight?  Take these pills and drop 10 pounds by morning…

No, waiting is not an American trait.

Yet, that is what we, as followers of Christ, are called to do.  Wait.  Not just wait; but wait on the Lord.  In our culture of “gimme NOW,” we can loose sight of what it means to wait on the Lord.  I certainly have at times.  I want to be used by the Lord right this second.  I want my trails alleviated this instant.

Sometimes, we [as followers of Jesus Christ] are called to wait it out.  Whatever “it” happens to be.  It could be a marriage that has seemingly gone sour.  A financial situation in which there is no reprieve in sight.  Cancer.   Loss of a job.  A nebulous preparation of our spirit for our next venture.  Whatever the context, we are told to be patient, be still, and to wait on the LORD.

Waiting is never easy.  I don’t believe it was meant to be.  [Perhaps that is why as Americans, we find waiting so abhorrent ~ it’s uncomfortable at best.]  Waiting, I believe, is just another desert [think: wandering in the wilderness for 40 years] meant to draw us further into the arms of our Father.  It is a method used to focus our attention on the heart of God; to seek His face, His will above our own.

And in our waiting, we have the most amazing opportunity to discover more of the heart of God.  To attend even closer to His plans for our lives.  We are able to discover, on a new level, what it means personally for God to be our portion.  Daily.  Hourly.  Breath by breath.

I can write this now, with complete faith, because I have lived a part of it.  In years past, my husband and I were surviving our marriage at best.  We weren’t fulfilled.  We weren’t even content.  We were literally surviving one another.  And to that end, we each had to abandon our ideas of happily ever after and cling solely to the promise that God would be enough.  Each moment.  And there were days, for both of us, that God had to be enough in that moment.

And He was.  Every moment.  Every breath.  God was enough.  He was our portion.  His mercies and His love covered everything.  Years of waiting on the LORD has blossomed into an even greater happily-ever-after than I could have ever imagined, if left to my own devices.  And I believe my husband would say the same [at least, he has said the same to me privately.]

I don’t know what situation you’re facing right now.  I can’t fathom how it’s affecting you.  But I do know that the God of the universe, the beginning and the end of all things, is holding you in His hands.  He’s waiting for you to let go; to surrender control.  He wants you to give whatever “it” is to Him.  And you are just to wait.  Cling to Him; and wait.  His love and mercy will cover you anew every morning.  And He will never let you go.

It will be the most worthwhile endeavor you’ve undertaken.  Just…

Wait.